It's the most frightening time of the year for managers. No, it's certainly not Halloween, nor annual budgeting season nor even the conference call with investors. The time of year that sends even the hardiest and most experienced managers into blind panic is, of course, annual performance review season.
Thanks to increasing pressure from HR to reimagine performance reviews as less a measurement of corporate goal attainment and more an opportunity to let employees (particularly those of the Millennial generation) share their hopes, dreams and life lessons, managers nowadays have to be keenly sensitive to the possibility that a less-than-outstanding review might send an employee scurrying to find a better job elsewhere. This puts pressure on managers to find creative and politically correct ways to assessing employee’s talents and to describe what type of worker they really are.
Following are some phrases that frequently appear on performance reviews, as well as a translation into what the manager really meant to say.
Source: Will and Guy’s Humour
Translation: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Translation: A nitpicker.
Translation: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
Translation: Gets everyone else to do the work.
Translation: Has no ideas of his own.
Translation: Comes to work on time.
Translation: A coward.
Translation: Knows more than superiors.
Translation: Paid too much.
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